Like Ice Being Chipped Away From My Heart

13"And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right."
-2 Thessalonians 3:13

Being here for only a few months is a great opportunity I have, yet an extremely challenging one. I find myself at a crossroad. I have been here for a month and I have been able to do lots of reflecting on that month. The first month has seen me adjusting to a new culture, new ways of transportation, new faces etc. All of these and many more have comprised this experience. I find this first month to be quite a transformation for myself. Too often, during these times, our expectations and hopes are not as realized as we might envision them. That's OK. In addition, the first month and following have been a time for God and I to have some head-on, serious time together. The best way I can describe the time I am spending in Jordan is much like a sermon I saw this summer. I don't remember much about the sermon, except that the person teaching proceeded to chip away at a block of ice for about 10 minutes. After the long, and strenuous process, it revealed a heart that was in the midst of the ice. I use that illustration to say that God has been chipping away the ice in me. I admit that the a lot of ice has melted away by God's love and grace. I also admit that ice sometimes reforms and needs to be chipped away again.

In this first month, I saw, and still see God stripping away pride, old ways,and immature ways of living. In this month, God has continued to draw me back to the Scriptures, and being alone with God. God has continued to feed my heart with confidence, and boldness.

Through this first month, I have been studying a great deal from the book of Deuteronomy. In my study of this, I was astounded at the many times the phrases like "remember, be careful, be obedient, I am the Lord," and many other phrases occur. I take those reminders to heart knowing that is what God asks us to do when we are frustrated, unsure of the future, and so on. God wants us to remember the good things he has done for us, the things he is doing, and to anticipate what he will do in the future. Some of those things being that God has blessed me with this opportunity, a call to "defend the cause the fatherless, widow,love the alien, and give them food and clothing" (Deut. 10:18-19). God has given me a beautiful fiance. God has given me a burden for understanding the world and serving the world. You get the point.

Ok...so you might read all of that and wonder what the title of the blog and the verse at the top mean. Here is that part. At this point in my time in Jordan, I am getting to the point where I know that my end here is coming, in a long, and short 6 weeks. Lately, I have asked myself if I am really making a difference and if the work that I have been blessed with will produce fruit. I know that I can only be the sower, but I struggle with knowing how to invest my time. This problem is hard to reconcile because I desire to be obedient to God. It is easy to tire in doing good, and become idle if we are not careful.

With this frustration, I know that in my time here I might not change any lives, but I can still be an encouragement to my students, the teachers, other workers, and those I meet in this country. I know that God is giving me glimpses of the future and placing burdens of different types of people on me that break my heart. All of these experiences that I have are giving me glimpses of the future, while giving me chances to expand the Kingdom in this brief time.

With these things being said, I want to encourage all of you with a passage from 2 Thessalonians 3:1-5:

1"Finally, brothers, pray for us that the message of the Lord may spread rapidly and be honored, just as it was with you. 2 And pray that we may be delivered from wicked and evil men, for not everyone has faith. 3 But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one. 4 We have confidence in the Lord that you are doing and will continue to do the things we command. 5 May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance."

For you, friends, never give up on the Gospel of God. It is still living and active. Never tire. Don't think that you are not making a difference. You are! As you face challenges in expanding God's kingdom, don't let those keep you down or cause you to become idle.

I ask that continue to pray for me that as I am here that I would continue to pray for God's message to advance even in the oppression and darkness. Pray that God continues to chip away the ice of my heart so that I can be encouraging to others, and bold in speaking the truth. Lastly, pray that God's message would spread to all places, and that you would actively be part of establishing God's kingdom.

I hope that this post is not too confusing. I know I often wander down rabbit trails, as many of you who know me understand. I am thankful for all of your prayers and support. I do have a video posted on Facebook of Jordan. I encourage you to check it out.

Grace and Peace to ALL of you!